The Strange Songs

“Buffalo girls won't you come out tonight,” sang Jake as he strolled along the sidewalk on his way to Midge's house. “Won't you come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon.”

“Hi Jake,” said Booker-T as he came out his gate and joined Jake on the way to Midge's house.”What are you singing?”

“I was singing about Buffalo girls coming out to dance,” said Jake.

“Dancing Buffaloes?” asked Booker-T. “I didn't know that the buffaloes could dance. Wow, I want to see one of those dancing buffaloes.”

“I didn't know they could dance either,” said Jake. “But the song wants them to dance.”

“I guess they can dance,” smiled Booker-T. “They are big animals though. I bet they have a hard time dancing good.”

“Maybe not,” said Jake. “Maybe that is why they dance in the moonlight because that way no one can see them too good.”

“Hi guys,” said Midge as Jake and Booker-T joined her in the front yard. “What are you talking about?”

“Jake was singing a song about some dancing buffaloes,” laughed Booker-T.

“Dancing Buffaloes?” asked Midge. “What dancing buffaloes?”

“I don't know what buffaloes,” said Jake. “Just some girl buffaloes they want to come dance at night in the moonlight.”

“Who wants them to dance?” asked Booker-T.

“I don't know,” said Jake. “Maybe some boy buffaloes want them to dance with them.”

“Sing it for me Jake,” said Midge. “I want to hear it.”

“Buffalo girls won't you come out tonight” sand Jake. “Won't you come out tonight and dance by he light of the moon.”

“Oh, said Midge. “I have heard that song before. They aren't singing about buffalo animals. They are singing about buffalo gals and they are human girls not animals.”

“Why are they called buffaloes if they are human girls?” asked Booker-T.

“I don't know,” said Midge.

“Are they big fat girls?” asked Jake. “Is that why they call them buffaloes?”

“Don't call them fat,” said Midge. “That isn't too nice. They are just fluffy.”

“Fluffy buffaloes,” laughed Jake. “That's a good one. I didn't call them fat to be mean.”

“I know you didn't,”” said Midge. “I know you wouldn't do that. I don't know why they call them buffalo gals It is a strange thing to call them. Maybe Gabby knows.”

“I haven't seen Gabby in a few days,' said Jake. “Have you seen him Booker-T?”

“I haven't seen him either,” said Booker-T.

“I haven't seen him either,” added Midge. “I wonder what he is doing?”

“The next time we see him, we can ask him if he knows,” said Jake. “That is if we don't forget to ask him. We might forget.”

“Humans have strange songs sometimes,” said Midge. “Remember the song about the old gray mare coming around the mountain.”

“I never did figure out why the old gray mare came around the mountain,” said Jake.

“ Do you remember the song, Boy named Sue?” asked Midge.

“My owner played that one the other day,” said Booker-T. “Why did his mom name him Sue? Did she want a girl and got stuck with a boy?”

“I heard that one and he didn't like being called Sue,” laughed Midge. “He wanted to be called Bill or George. I think he hated being called Sue.”

“But you know, these days, boys are given girl names and girls are given boy names,” said Jake. “My neighbor is a little girl and they call her Jackie.”

“Did you ever hear the song, 'Does Your Chewing Gum Lose it's flavor on the Bedpost Over Night' ?” asked Jake.

“Oh, I like that one,” laughed Midge.

“How do you sing it?” asked Booker-T.

“Let me see,” said Midge. “Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost over night. If your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite? Can you catch it on your tonsils? Can you heave it left and right?”

“What?” asked Jake. “How can you catch gum on your tonsils? I think that would be hard to do.”

“I think so too,” laughed Booker-T.

“Have you heard any funny songs at home, Booker-T?” asked Midge.

“I remember one,” laughed Booker-T. “My Boomerang won't come back.”

“Sing it,” said Jake.

“My Boomerang won't come back,” sang Booker-T. “My boomerang won't come back. I've waved the think all over the place, practiced til I was blue in the face. I'm a big disgrace to the Aborigine race. My boomerang won't come back. The witch doctor told him 'Don't worry boy, I know the trick, and to you I'm going to show you. If you want your boomerang to come back, well, first you have to throw it.”

“Ha ha,” laughed Midge. “That's good. I guess he does have to throw it first if he wants it to come back.”

“Do you know any other funny ones Midge?” asked Jake.

“My owner likes one called 'May the Bird of Paradise Fly up Your Nose,” said Midge.

“Oh dear,” said Booker-T. “Why would you want a bird to fly up your nose?”

“I would think that would be really hard to do,” said Midge. “Birds are so much bigger than the hole in your nose.”

“Maybe those paradise birds are rally tiny,” suggested Jake.

“How does it go?” asked Booker-T.

“May the bird of paradise fly up your nose,” sang Midge. “May an elephant caress your toes. May your wife be plagued with runners in her hose.. May the bird of paradise fly up your nose.”

“I think an elephant caressing your toes would really hurt,” said Booker-T. “They are really big animals. He might squash you when he is caressing your toes.”

“People have some really funny songs, don't they?” asked Midge.

“They sure do,” said Jake. “I bet we animals could make some really good songs.”

“I bet we could too,” laughed Booker-T. “Maybe one of these days we can try.”