Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Midge and the Strange Family

   "Midge!  Midge!" called her mistress as she stood at the front door.  "Come on girl, come on in here."
   Midge jumped up the porch steps, her tail wagging as she hurried to the front door.  She sat in front of her mistress looking up at her hoping for a treat.
   "Hi there girl.  Come on in here.  I want my little niece to play with you."
   Midge looked around the room and saw the little one on the floor by the big chair.  Midge sat staring at the little girl who looked as if she were reading the medicine bottle she held in her little hand.  Midge looked up at her mistress and back at this little girl. 
   "This is my niece, Baby Greta. she is going to stay with us a few days," she said as she patted Midge on the head.

   'So this is the strange baby Greta I have heard her talk about on the phone,' thought Midge.  'I never knew a baby of only 4 months old that could speak Latin, Greek, French, Norwegian, German and Tagalog.  Hum, I wonder what Tagalog is!'
   Midge slowly inched her way closer to the little girl who looked as if she was so intent on reading the medicine bottles that sat on the coffee table.  When the girl looked her way, she would sit down and just stare at her.  When she got too close, baby Greta reached out and grabbed Midge by the ear.  Midge pulled backwards away from her tight grip.  'Ouch!'  thought Midge. 'I wonder how she would like it if I pulled her ear?'
    Midge's mistress picked up the baby and carried her to the bed and pulled out a diaper to change her.  As soon as she started to remove the diaper, the little baby girl started reciting something that Midge couldn't understand.  She sat near the bed and tilted her head back and forth trying to understand the words.  'Wow!' thought Midge.  'She sure talks werid and so fast.  Like an auctioneer."  I wonder what she is talking about?'
   "Isn't that cute, Midge?" said her mistress.  "She is rattling off the Lliad, but I have never heard it done that fast.  She sure is something."
  Midge just raised her eyebrows and thought, 'Yeah, something else!  About as strange as her mother; Bambi Boxier, AKA Senior Prom Queen, Homecoming Queen, head cheerleader, student body president and Miss Popularity. She can't do anything but plan future High School reunions and collect Teen Beat issues that have Duran Duran in them and is so conceited that she reminds everyone of all her titles.  No wonder this baby is weird.  Look at the mother.  And that crazy woman must have a house full of pink makeup.  I have never seen anyone so pink in all my life. Pink rouge, pink lipstick, pin blush, pink nail polish and pink clothes.  This woman isn't playing with a full deck.'
   "Now there," said Midge's mistress as she set the little girl back on the floor.  "You can get down here and play with Midge."
   'Are you nuts?'  thought Midge.  'Me play with this self-proclaimed genius from Pantskwawkiville.  Pantskwawkiville?  What kind of place is that?'
   Baby Greta headed straight for the wall plug and attempted to stick her wet fingers into the socket as she pointed at the baby food on the high chair.
   'This one is worse than her mother.  I know what is wrong with the mother,'  thought Midge.  'All that stuff she frosts her hair with every other month has warped her brain.  Must have effected the kid before she was born too.'
   Midge ran to the door and looked back at her mistress.
   "Do you want to go outside girl?" aksed Midge's mistress.
   Midge jumped up and down and banged the door with her paw until she opened the door to let her out.  Midge ran out without even a glance back.  "Whew!' thought Midge.  'What a strange bunch!  I'm sure glad my mistress isn't that weird.'
   "Midge!  Midge!" called Jake as he strolled up the sidewalk to the porch.  "I thought you were coming over to my house this morning so we could go play with Gabby at the park?"
   "Oh, I had to meet the weird part of the family.  I think they fell out of a tree somewhere.  They are nuts!" said Midge.
   "Who are you talking about?" asked Jake.
   "Remember me telling you about the sister of my mistress.  She called her Bambi?" asked Midge.
   "Oh, yeah.  I remember you mentioning her.  Weird one, that one is," smiled Jake.
   "Yeah, well, you should see the strange baby she has.  Take a peak in that window," said Midge.
   Jake put his front paws on the window sill and peaked into the living room. Beside the chair was a little baby girl spitting up all over the floor.  "She is so cute.  But why does she keep spitting up all over the place?"
   "That is her favorite activity, I swear!" said Midge.  "I saw her reading.  Can you imagine that little 4 month old reading?"
   "Sure Midge.  You are pulling my leg, right?" asked Jake.
   "Nope, not me.  She is for real.  My misstress has this really off the wall bunch of family members.  I don't think I even want to know who else is in her family tree.  I think they are all nuts," said Midge.
   "Your mistress is okay, isn't she?"  asked Jake.
   "Sure, she is normal.  Not sure how she lucked out, but I'm glad she did," said Midge.
   "Well, enough of your weird family.  Let's go find Gabby," smiled Jake.
   "They're not my family.  They belong to my mistress.  Poor thing,"  laughed Midge.
   The two of them ran down the street toward the  park in search of Gabby.

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